


pools of wishful thinking

by cchaoticc



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, but you know when you have a super super specific scene pop into your head, chan changbin and jeongin are nowhere to be found im so sorry, fwb!hyunho?, han felix seungmin are only mentioned for a sec, so im sorry changbin chan and jeongin arent in this forgive meee, soonie doongie and dori have cameos yay, thats what this is, theres a basic trope and main pairing but theres no real story or plot to it, with a specific atmosphere and oddly specific line or dialogue that you want to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:27:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cchaoticc/pseuds/cchaoticc
Summary: Hyunjin has always loved love. It would break his heart if love did not feel the same way about him, it would hurt more than any other boy breaking his heart ever could.Minho is a close contender.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	pools of wishful thinking

**Author's Note:**

> please spare me i haven't taken a proper english or writing class since high school, which was 3 years ago. the formatting is probably very confusing and it jumps around a lot so sorry if it's hard to follow :( shouldn't have been a bio major so i could properly write fanfics today 🙄
> 
> but that's it! thank you for taking time to read my little piece
> 
> title is from pools by niki!

Minho tends to be sweeter after; when his body is still feeling loose and flooded with dopamine. Not that he’s horrible outside of the time they spend with each other in his bed. It’s just that Minho is relaxed and Hyunjin can lay his head on his chest without him complaining about the sweat, without him pushing away once Hyunjin got comfortable— and not just physically. Eyelids fluttering, he admires a mark he managed to leave on the older man's chest, on the skin above his heart. It was stupid, Hyunjin knew, but it was his own way of tricking himself into thinking that this meant something; meant that Minho was his and he was Minho's.

It probably didn’t, Hyunjin thought. The first night they slept together, he noticed a few fading marks and scratches on him as he sat on Minho’s thick, strong thighs. His eyebrows knitted together, unable to hide the jealously he felt seeing hickies already where he had intended to leave them.

Hyunjin pulled away from his neck, revealing his expression to Minho.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, lips shining and red from their time against Hyunjin’s.

The two had met through Felix, with him being in the same dance class as the eldest. Felix introduced Hyunjin the very first day when he went to pick Felix up so they could walk to the class they had together. There was no denying the attraction he felt to Minho. He didn’t think anyone was immune to the dancer’s shining eyes and the ever-present lift in the corner of his lips.

Hyunjin had not-so-subtly asked Felix about him a few weeks into the semester and learned that he wasn’t known for relationships, information which was confirmed with the times they saw Minho leaving parties with a different person from the last. He convinced himself he was okay with that, that it could be all Hyunjin wanted too. It _could_ be.

It wasn’t.

“Nothing, hyung,” he lied, giving him a reassuring smile. Minho didn’t need to search Hyunjin’s face for long to know. He always did tend to wear his heart on his sleeve.

“Hyunjin, you know I don’t do—”

“No, I know,” he interrupted, “I get it.”

He smiled again and he figured Minho thought that, well, Hyunjin was an adult and if he wanted to sleep with a man who didn’t invest in romantic relationships, then he could, because Minho gave a quick nod and leaned forward for a kiss. His hands slipped under Hyunjin’s shirt as they melted into the beginning of their storm.

Hyunjin knows it was a mistake. He knows it was a stupid thing to lie to Minho and to himself about, but the thing was: Hyunjin has always loved love. It would break his heart if love did not feel the same way about him, it would hurt more than any other boy breaking his heart ever could. Saying that Minho is a close contender is big because yes, his chest aches in the worst way when he leaves Minho’s apartment, the imaginary sound of the older man’s voice asking him to stay playing in a loop inside his head. It aches when he sees Minho entertaining another person’s advances at a party. It aches when Minho introduces Hyunjin as just his friend. It aches when Hyunjin pretends he doesn’t want more, like his heart is protesting its feelings being buried back into it.

But it also makes his chest ache in the sweetest way when Minho flirts with him at parties, laughing when Hyunjin rolls his eyes because the older really didn’t need to flirt at all. It aches when they sit on his couch and give attention to Doongie with Dori and Soonie watching from a distance, before Minho leads him to his bed. It aches when Minho stops rushing their nights together, when his lips are slow and warm against Hyunjin’s, like he would be content with just doing that all night. It aches when he notices the only marks on the dancer are the ones he’s left on him. It aches when Minho smiles into a kiss and when he murmurs against the younger’s plump lips, voice low and teasing, “Slow down, baby.” It aches when Minho kisses his sweaty forehead and pushes his blonde hair away for him after kissing and holding Hyunjin through his second orgasm of the night. It aches when he catches Minho staring at him, almost looking _fond_ if Hyunjin wasn’t imagining things. It’s like his heart is breaking open, finally being able to _feel_ its feelings.

Now, Hyunjin registers fingers brushing through his hair and he tilts his head up to see that aforementioned look on Minho’s face. He snuggles back onto Minho’s chest and asks, “do you want to get up?”

There’s a beat of silence before he responds. “Do you?”

_No_ , Hyunjin immediately thinks. On any other night, Hyunjin would have gotten up and showered before leaving, gone home to eat late night snacks with Felix, Seungmin, and Han, cuddling while watching one of the Studio Ghibli films they had on rotation. On any other night, Hyunjin wouldn’t give Minho the chance to ask him to leave because he wasn’t going to stick around long enough for the post sex fog to wear off, only to be asked to leave and left with the emotions he didn’t want to face. But he asked if he wanted to get up and Hyunjin was too tired to say what he didn’t mean; he was tired of his feelings gnawing its way out of himself.

“No,” Hyunjin whispers, glad his face is somewhat hidden from Minho’s view while he’s resting his head on his chest. Minho vaguely feels the younger man’s face become warmer, but he doesn’t say anything.

He nods and realizes Hyunjin can’t see him or the ghost of a smile on his face. “Okay,” he says into the darkness of his room, his hand continuing its soothing motion through the younger’s hair.

These are the moments Hyunjin feared: when he could think too much about them, if there was a “them” beyond their friendship and fucking each other. Whatever pitiful glow of hope that lived in him was growing and he hated it. Minho was probably just too tired to kick him out and here Hyunjin was, making it mean more than it did.

The ugly thoughts formed into hot tears along his waterline, because of course they would. Before he could blink the storm away, it falls onto Minho’s bare skin. Hyunjin pulled away and sat up immediately, his hair unintentionally brushing away some of his tears off of Minho. Then his hands quickly, harshly wiped at his eyes.

“You okay?” Minho worried, sitting up as well and placing a hand on Hyunjin’s bare shoulder.

“Yeah,” he answers, looking down at his hands and the sheets covering his legs, “Sorry, hyung, don’t know what happened there.”

He feels Minho’s hand leave his shoulder and has to stop his body from slumping further. Then, he feels Minho’s fingers ghost over his cheekbone before his hand cups his cheek. Hyunjin can’t stop his heart from racing or the storm from stirring, can’t stop himself from looking up all wide eyes and vulnerability. He’s met with Minho's cat like eyes, edges softened for the time being but still just as bright.

“You can talk to me,” he utters as his eyebrows scrunch with concern, “you know that right?”

Hyunjin swallows at the proximity of Minho’s face, which feels silly considering they’re still naked hours they just spent together. He wants to kiss the other man so badly.

He nods and whispers a faint acknowledgement. Minho waits, allowing time for Hyunjin to begin if he wants to— he doesn’t, not right now at least— before his gaze flickers to the blonde’s lips and he pulls away with a clearing of his throat.

“Are you hungry?”

“What?” Hyunjin asks, making sure he's hearing correctly. They’ve never eaten together outside of their friend groups.

“It’s late now and it wasn’t when you got here,” he shrugs, “I’m hungry and you must be too.”

Hyunjin stares as Minho gets up and walks to his dresser, pulling out a pair of briefs, sweatpants, and a plain black t-shirt before slipping them on. The dresser is shut but his hand lingers before he opens it again, taking another set of everything before turning to Hyunjin again. An eyebrow is raised in another question.

“You don’t have to let me stay just because you feel bad for me,” he finally answers. That has to be why he’s offering, right?

Minho frowns. “That’s not why.” He doesn’t elaborate further, but it doesn’t matter when his sincerity is displayed, for once, so clearly for Hyunjin to see.

It’s the hope that gets him, the storm creating a mess inside of him that makes his lips and vocal cords produce a response.

“Okay,” he agrees, “what are we eating?” Minho walks to his mirror and fixes his hair. A shame because Hyunjin thought sex hair somehow looked good on him. He hums and looks up in thought after is hair is fixed.

“Not sure. I’ll check if I have anything and if not, we can get delivery.”

With that, he opens the bedroom door and heads towards the kitchen. Hyunjin looks over to the clothes Minho left on the bed, his heart pounding and pushing him to put them on. A quiet rustle brings his attention to the corner of his bed where Dori makes his way onto the blanket, patting around before gracefully laying down and curling into a ball. A smile tugs at Hyunjin’s lips when he hears Minho speaking in a soft voice followed by meows. He picks up his phone from the bedside table and sends a quick text to the group chat.

hyunjinnie

_eating with minho hyung tonight_

_have fun without me ~_


End file.
